The journey (part 3)

Yes, I was a submissive.  Or at least I thought I was.  I was becoming more confused with each passing day.  What had seemed so enthrallingly wonderful in the beginning was quickly turning into a journey into tears, recriminations, fear and pain.  Where once I had been filled with anticipation of a coming evening with him, now I was consumed with trepidation.

Everything I did was wrong it seemed.  I didn't dress sluttily enough, then I dressed too much like a hooker.  I didn't pay enough attention to him, then I was clingning.  Each time I hesitated, he called my submission into question.  I was so close to confirming his purported suspicions ... I wanted nothing more than to scream that I was not a submissive and run away from him and he entire thing which had drawn me so powerfully.

Battling the tears in my eyes, trying to paste a smile upon my face, I obeyed his order and approached the bar to fill his drink order.  I waited for the bartender to prepare the drink, my eyes closed as I struggled with my emotions, knowing he would lacerate me with at least his words if I did not return looking as if I was radiantly blessed to be in his presence.

As smooth as dark, rich honey the voice cut through my forced meditation.  It oozed and coated me, mesmerized me into a trance of liquidity, made me yearn to give him my very soul.  My head turned towards the speaker, my eyes slowly opened to find his.  The intensity was amazing, particularly when coupled with intelligence and compassion.

He quirked a gentle smile as he repeated his statement.

"I see before me an exquisite submissive who has offered herself to one who does not know how to command her.  The flaw is in him, not in you."

Standing transfixed, I allowed his strength to wash a soothing calm into me.  When the bartender delivered the drink I had been awaiting, the man I knew must be a Dominant nodded his head slightly and released me with the ease of a magician who has mastered every nuance of his craft.

"Go to him now and do not worry.  I will be here . . . for you little one."